Everything out there on the web regarding this series is negative. Yes this is a very real and very traumatic series full of many topics covered in this series, not many want to acknowledge and talk about. Bullying, rape, low self esteem, drug and alcohol dependant issues, and most importantly suicide, just to name a few.
I found out my son who is 11 watched it and when I seen the many news reports and articles stating how aweful it was I had to be the judge of it myself.
Me being a 3 times suicide survivor, it was yes difficult to watch, full of triggers and I had to take breaks and use coping skills (use all senses to bring calming effects) to get through the series. I managed very well. With small breaks here and there it got me through.
Also a cutter point of view I haven't cut since fall 2015 and yes it was trigger city for that part of my life and impulsive part of my mentality. But again coping skills and breaks helped me make it through.
I walked away with the realization of the effects on those left behind and the torment each person involved in my life could face the ultimate question...did I cause this to happen?
The tapes just give that inner walk through as to why she felt that despair that lead to the ultimate decision to end her life so traumatically. Did not seem to glorify suicide as many articles indicate IMHO.
Now mentality is important when watching this series take breaks use coping skills when triggered. And when done do watch the following 13 reasons why: beyond the reasons if you didn't watch it before starting the series which also may help process what is going to be watched or what was just watched. I watched it after and I must say I got everything they were trying to portray in the series. It was well scripted and well casted as well as at capturing the struggles teens face these days to open the door to be able to talk about such topics to hopefully take suicide off the table as a solution to such experiences.
I found out my son who is 11 watched it and when I seen the many news reports and articles stating how aweful it was I had to be the judge of it myself.
Me being a 3 times suicide survivor, it was yes difficult to watch, full of triggers and I had to take breaks and use coping skills (use all senses to bring calming effects) to get through the series. I managed very well. With small breaks here and there it got me through.
Also a cutter point of view I haven't cut since fall 2015 and yes it was trigger city for that part of my life and impulsive part of my mentality. But again coping skills and breaks helped me make it through.
I walked away with the realization of the effects on those left behind and the torment each person involved in my life could face the ultimate question...did I cause this to happen?
The tapes just give that inner walk through as to why she felt that despair that lead to the ultimate decision to end her life so traumatically. Did not seem to glorify suicide as many articles indicate IMHO.
Now mentality is important when watching this series take breaks use coping skills when triggered. And when done do watch the following 13 reasons why: beyond the reasons if you didn't watch it before starting the series which also may help process what is going to be watched or what was just watched. I watched it after and I must say I got everything they were trying to portray in the series. It was well scripted and well casted as well as at capturing the struggles teens face these days to open the door to be able to talk about such topics to hopefully take suicide off the table as a solution to such experiences.
*Spoiler alert* (continue to *End of spoiler* to avoid reading the spoiler)
Episode 1 leaves Clay hallucinating/flash back and ending up angry at the first person who Hannah claimed they had hurt her in a way that left her wanting to die. And as the episodes drone on and on flash back to present to daydreaming what Clay would like to do but turns out he didn't on numbers occasions he does finally act out and you think it's another day dream, but turns out he actually lost his cool and exposed a realization of what goes on at school as well as gets a full confession needed to serve justice to one of the characters. It's hard to differentiate between daydream, actual happenings, and flashbacks at first which kept me on my toes.
I highly recommend watching this with your teenagers especially if they have signs of depression, as well as suicide, and cutting but do take breaks when the show gets heavy and discuss and use coping skills to get through them.
Highly recommend watching beyond the reasons first as it helps break down and yes gives away the series but puts you in the right mind set and to prepare yourself for what is to come and determine if you do wanna walk down this journey through what is left behind once someone does kill themselves the struggles the parents face blaming themselves, as well as torturing themselves to try and figure out why and if they caused it etc. As well as friends and acquaintances.
Hopefully this series does as it is intended and that is taking suicide off the table as an option, and not glorify suicide.
I highly recommend watching this with your teenagers especially if they have signs of depression, as well as suicide, and cutting but do take breaks when the show gets heavy and discuss and use coping skills to get through them.
Highly recommend watching beyond the reasons first as it helps break down and yes gives away the series but puts you in the right mind set and to prepare yourself for what is to come and determine if you do wanna walk down this journey through what is left behind once someone does kill themselves the struggles the parents face blaming themselves, as well as torturing themselves to try and figure out why and if they caused it etc. As well as friends and acquaintances.
Hopefully this series does as it is intended and that is taking suicide off the table as an option, and not glorify suicide.
*End of spoiler*
Okay. So I walked personally away with the realization that suicide should never be an option even if the thought comes from time to time, if I just hold on and use my coping skills it will pass soon just gotta hold on for a bit...and if it never passes I call someone to talk to them if no one I know answers and the thoughts are still there I call the suicide help line. Cognitive Behavior Therapy has helped me cope with the droning on and on thoughts of running away and committing suicide. I have a safety plan and in that heat of that moment when it is so strong that I see no other way, it is so hard to not give in and just do it. but even if I stall for just a moment sometimes it just passes if I give it a second or two sometimes a few minutes but once I regain that control I can follow through with my safety plan. I haven't attempted suicide since 2006? rough guess...anyway. I am proud I have overcame moments of despair between there and now and no it wasn't easy. Many phone calls to my therapist to talk me down or a friend or suicide hotline but I made it through. You have to fight for your life when you are in this cycle of despair...I know you may not see anything worth living for and that in this instance this trial you are facing doesn't seem like it will end EVER but it will. Sometimes you need to change something in your life to make it pass...so don't give up and think this is the last chapter of your life cuz believe me with what all I have been through if I can get through everything I have anyone can. Believe me I am not strong at all...I had to make myself stronger over the years with each chapter I want to end soon as it unfolds...but I did it! I made it thus far! You can to!
For those who have a loved one who is suicidal or has committed suicide, its a dark dark place and its easy to put on a smiling face and act like everything is fine. To tell how they are doing well when they aren't. You need to contact a counselor to get insight as to how to approach your suicidal loved one and what to say and not to say. And for those who lost a loved one to suicide I am so sorry you are faced with this tremendous loss. Their suffering in their mind was so great that they just couldn't see any other way to end it. It is not easy and its going to be a long journey for you to process the loss be sure to seek therapy as the urges to follow suit will come and you will need a strong support people in your life to help you through these moments of despair you may face following the suicide of a loved one.
I am going to end this with a thought. Life is so short already, we don't need to end it sooner than later. You are going to get through all your trials whether you want to or not you just gotta give it time, or change something and do something about it. You definitely need to change the way you think...ie. tire went flat on your bike=oh man I may as well just kill myself....NO....go out get a new tube and change the tire. just as an example of how something so minor can cause someone to want to end it all...this form of thinking with each breakup, each job loss, each car breakdown, each time a friend cancels plans, etc. has to end. There is a silver lining to every storm cloud and a rainbow to follow each storm, you just gotta hold on and let it pass. Maybe help it to pass on by finding something either to distract yourself or to get where you want to be because what you are doing right now needs overhauled into being what you want out of life...make it happen! But don't kill yourself.
Thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo
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